Cereal the bear.

Ari lies in his bed and cuddles the bear he recently clung to. It was from B & G when Ari was just one week old. They said that me having a baby was like them having a grandchild.
Ari cuddles the bear and I say "would you like to name him? What would you like to call him?"
He answers "Cereal!".
Cereal it is.
He cuddles Cereal and says "he was from Brookie Mummy. When I was a little baby. He's special".

My heart keeps breaking with how much I miss this man.

One year ago.

Exactly one year ago tomorrow night I walked into a small clinical room where a number of doctors and midwives attempted to usher my son into the world a little earlier than he would have liked. It was getting dangerous for him in there and it was time to give him a nudge. I spent a sleepless night on a horrible "bed" built for function, not comfort. I lay and listened to the reassuring and speedy lub-dub of his teeny heart on the monitor next to me. In the morning they jabbed me, hooked me up, plugged me in and began the wait. A showy, unproductive labour ensued and three of my favourite people in the world were there to help me through it, along with seemingly endless rounds of magnificent midwives who all helped me feel hopeful that I would achieve the outcome I hoped for.

But after two days of not progressing and of exhausting the poor stubborn little being who did not wish to leave me just yet, they decided to take matters into their own hands. Hours later, when I was at the end of my rope, a gurgling, wriggling little creature came into the world and I crashed into exhaustion. The next morning I met the most perfect and divine thing I have ever seen. My little Ari Morton Holland. Thumper.

And he we are one year later. And I have no words for any of it right now. He is just, my life.

MARKET FIND

On Sunday we went to our local markets, which are just down the road and which we often forget to frequent! Along with some yummy locally grown tomatoes, homemade tomato sauce and some vege seedlings, I purchased this awesome teapot, cups and sugar bowl I found. LOVE IT.

It turns out the teapot doesn't go with the cups and sugar bowl (which I especially love) but they match pretty much perfectly. The teapot is Johnston Brothers form UK and it pours like a dream. I almost didn't buy them because I need another teapot like a hole in the head, but I'm glad I did. What more could you ask for on a Sunday morning market stint?

Every day my Ari is growing, doing something new. Today he is ten months old. He says Mumumumum. He picks up teeny pieces of food with his fingers. He rolls and rolls and will soon crawl. He laughs, grins, smiles and growls. He is a wild thing.

Tomorrow is my first mothers' day. Last year he was a wriggling kicking bump in my belly. Today I can kiss and kiss him for as long as he will let me. I have just been reading this post from Sharilyn, whose blog inspires and warms me post by post. It hits the nail on the head for me.

Soon my Nat will bring me a steaming bowl of stew I cooked with my mum. Tomorrow we will wake up and all squeeze into bed with cups of tea, hot toast, magazines and Maisy.

Each day, at least once, I feel like the luckiest woman on earth.

My boys at the lake.

Neko Case’s “PEOPLE GOT A LOTTA NERVE” - Blog it for a Worthwhile Cause

From Anti- website:

"Today, we are especially happy to bring you “People Got A Lotta Nerve,” the first single from Neko Case’s forthcoming album Middle Cyclone (out March 3), because for every blog that reposts the song and/or iLike user who adds it to their profile, Neko Case and ANTI- will make a cash donation to Best Friends Animal Society.

The promotion will run from January 13 to February 3, 2009. Five dollars will be donated for every blog post and one dollar for every user of iLike that adds the song to his/her profile."

DOWNLOAD "PEOPLE GOT A LOTTA NERVE"

Sunday afternoon.

My house is clean. My house is tidy. My sweetheart is gone. For two weeks. My boy is awake. I'm a little lonely. Tonight I'm going to bed to watch a movie on my puter. The end.